Gotcha Day Celebration!

I can not believe it was at the airport on June 4th that Tristan was handed to us. In the adoption world, this is known as a “Gotcha Day!” So… June 4th is special family day for us. Many years ago…We were about to embark on a parenting journey that we could have never imagined. Interesting. Lively. Heart-wrenching. Abounding in miracles. Empathy. Compassion.

This year we took Tristan on a day trip to Sandy Acres Clydesdales for a VIP Farm Tour. It was a lot of fun. Tristan got to feed the goats and the miniature donkeys slices of carrots. Tristan played on the goats’ toys! There was a toddler-sized slide that he kept eyeing. I told him he was too big. He still inched his body toward it and stood at the step. I told the owner, “Tristan thinks he is a toddler.” She gave him permission to slide down. However, his legs extended to the bottom. We all laughed. Down the slide, he went. (Don’t tell him he can’t do something! He will find a way.) Tristan seemed to enjoy petting the Clydesdale horses. In the end, we went into the barn and brushed a horse. Tristan was content with this activity. It was great to have a private VIP tour—lots of good family memories.

Communication Progress

Tristan’s first weekend home was outstanding. However, one behavior we noticed is that he stopped communicating. Tristan did not want to sign, talk, or use his device. Sometimes I think it is due to his medications that have switched several times over the last few years. My heart was sad that he lost his interest and ability to communicate. I decided we would work on it when he was home as much as possible. I used his tablet loaded with Proloquo2go to ask him choices.

Last Friday night, Tristan was home for the weekend. All of a sudden, he started signing. He asked for popcorn, chips and cheese, and pop. Brian and I quickly realized that was his usual order at the movie theater we take him to. It has been over a year since we did that activity! Tristan got excited and flapped his arms when we asked him if he wanted to go to the movies. He said, “Yes,” Tristan went on to sign and say, “church.” We asked him if he wanted to go to church. He said, “Yes,” and twirled around in a circle several times. He then went on to give his McDonald’s order with his device. The usual order: chicken nuggets, barbeque sauce, French fries, and chocolate milk. We were very excited that he came out of “his world” to communicate with us! We could see the excitement in his eyes as he was understood.

We had a busy Saturday going to McDonald’s to pick up lunch and ate at a park. Then we went to the movie theatre for his snack order and watched a movie. Sunday morning, we went to church and listened to the music.

When communication increases, then frustration decreases, and that made a successful home visit!

The Moment I Knew I Was In Trouble…

Thinking back to the days when Tristan was younger, our primary goal for the day was to keep him safe. Many times that was a challenge, to say the least. To begin with, we were always trying to stay one step ahead of him, and sometimes we became one step behind! Brian and I would have to come up with a new solution. Forget safety locks/devices for children on the market; he would outwit them. Locks on doors were a big topic of conversation. I remember the first time I knew I was in trouble raising Tristan. I had someone over-purchasing an item. We were chatting at the kitchen table.
We had the eye and hook locks on all the very tops of the doors. Tristan was about two years old. Tristan quietly grabbed the broom and walked over to my bedroom door. Suddenly, he erupted in laughter. Immediately, I looked over to where he was standing as I sat at the kitchen table. My mouth dropped open. He used the broom to unlatch the lock. I looked at this stranger and said, “Oh my goodness. I can not believe he just did that.” When it is a problem for Tristan to solve, his problem-solving skills are off the charts. Which means it becomes a problem for Mom & Dad to solve. This challenge played over and over as he continued to grow and develop. Looking back, I now conclude that many times this was a game to him. Tristan has sure made our life more full and fun! Enjoy another healthy dose of laughter from our home!

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Best Mother’s Day!

Finally, our Tristan was able to come home for a home visit! It has been a l-o-n-g fourteenth-month wait. Our home became lively with our forever toddler this weekend. YouTube played his favorite songs (the same ones over and over). Sleepless nights resumed. Melissa and Doug toys were brought out of the closet. Clean-up duty was continuous. Older brother, Jacob, interacted with Tristan. He gave him a few surprise snacks. Takeout was ordered at McDonald’s! It was a blast. We attended church for the music portion of the service. We would not change one minute of our time with our forever toddler. We had a blast and can not wait for the next visit in two weeks.

Happy Mother’s Day to all!

Who You Gonna Call?

When Tristan was about 6 years old he would NEVER sit.  He was always on the move.  I had to chase my ever growing non-verbal “toddler” every waking moment.  Most of the time I felt more like a security guard instead of a mom. Or maybe a life guard on land(not that one really exists).  If something looked dangerous he would gravitate towards it.  This went on for years…

15 Years Ago…Our Journey Began

Today is the day our journey with Tristan began.  Finally, all the preparation had been done. Paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork!  Waiting, waiting, and more waiting! Of course, we had no idea how the road would bend and curve.  We would climb uphill and enjoy the glide down! We did not have much knowledge about autism.  In little ways, God had prepared our hearts.  Given the choice I would do it all over again.  We are blessed to have been gifted with Tristan.  I hope one day to write this all down.

Enjoy a glimpse into the early days of our new adventure!

 

Counting the Days…

Quarantine.  Pandemic.  Shelter in place.  These words mean a lot to many of us.  In Tristan’s world not so much.  His routine has changed but many aspects of his life remain the same.   He is not worried about much.  His main concern is food.  Overall he is content.  But when he is bored…watch out!  He will create his own entertainment.  Here is one example.

This was one of the latest updates I received from his group home.

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Tristan’s Favorite Pictures

When I hand Tristan my phone and let him scroll through the photos he always stops on two pictures.  One day he pointed to what he was looking at.  I shouldn’t have been surprised but I was.  It was food!  The chocolate milk in the first picture.  The mac-n-cheese in the second picture.

Enjoy another healthy dose of laughter from our home!

Sorting Colors – Tristan’s Way

Currently color sorting activities are a favorite for my forever toddler.  I came across one to try with him.  This is how it went…

I bought a foam block, sticks, and a box of fruit round cereal.  The idea was to have him sort the colors on the sticks.  First sorting, then eating the cereal.  However, the moment I set out the example with one color on each stick he had a different idea.  I turned my back for one second to get the box of cereal and the “sample” was gone.  He was smiling and laughing.   I asked him if he ate the cereal.  The look in his eyes told me he did.

Then I poured some cereal in the bowl and I sorted a couple to demonstrate how this activity was suppose to proceed.  He immediately started eating the cereal.  The game began!  He wanted me to say “don’t eat it!”  Then he would laugh. He was definitely enjoying this game.

He was proud of his accomplishment!  All the cereal was sorted and gone.

Enjoy another healthy dose of laughter from our home!

 

This idea came from Play to Learn Preschool.  More details can be found at:

Fruit Loop Graph

 

If He Only Knew the Value!

I get a report from Tristan’s case manager on how his week went at his residential school and group home.  In the email, he is reported as,