You Can Enter, But You Can’t Leave

This story Brian and I still laugh about at times when we are reminiscing about life.

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I can’t express in words how much work it took to keep Tristan safe.  We had to keep locks on everything.  This was to prevent him from escaping our home.  It was like we had Houdini as our son.  He would elope out the front door, back door, side door, and windows! We never could figure out why.  I have concluded that it was just a game to him.  Whatever the reason was we just learned to be on our guard.

This meant we had to open and shut doors and lock them quickly!  If we forgot he would surely let us know…by taking advantage of the opportunity.   As soon as someone entered our home we swiftly locked them in our home.   We always had keys in our pockets.  This was the standard “Tristan safety procedure” in our home.  This became the norm and we didn’t even think about it much.  Neighborhood children knew the drill.  Family visitors knew that all doors would be locked.

Then one day Brian had to be home to let someone in our home.  It was through our mortgage company.   Brian was told someone would be by for paperwork.  That day Tristan was home sick from school.  Just Brian and Tristan were home.

Brian answered the door.  It was a young lady.  She entered and Brian immediately locked the door!  He realized that it probably looked pretty bad.  He just locked this woman inside our home.   Then he realized she could be concerned, terrified, or frightened.  Therefore, he rapidly started explaining that our son is special needs and will run out of the house.

The lady said, “Ok.”

We aren’t really sure if she understood how severe of a behavior elopement can be.  Sometimes we laugh thinking she might have thought that was creepy to be locked inside a stranger’s house!

Enjoy another healthy dose of laughter from our home!

 

 

Poor Tristan! He just wanted to visit…

His 4th and 5th grade school year went like this…

He would run out of the classroom and down the hall to sit and visit with the principal (Mr. M)!

Due to him being non-verbal he would not ask! At any moment he would barge into his office and take a seat like it was visiting time!!! He wouldn’t notice if the principal was busy on the phone or in a meeting. Tristan probably didn’t care if Mr. M looked busy. He had achieved his goal.

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Really???

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I couldn’t believe it.  I was trying to write a blog and watch Tristan play in the backyard.  After winter months we can usually expect elopement issues to increase (temporarily).   Seven days ago Brian checked the fence and made some  repairs it to avoid an escapee.  I was fairly confident I could type AND watch Tristan play.  So I thought!  I checked every few minutes from the kitchen window, he was playing just fine.  I looked out again and did not see him.  I  opened the sliding glass door to see if he was just out of my view.  There was no sign of him.  Quickly I put on my coat and double checked the backyard.  A fence panel was down!  Of course this is an open invitation for him to go exploring.  I hurried through the house and ran out of the front door.  Tristan, for the most part is nonverbal so I can not just call his name, he will not answer.  Thankfully, he had gotten in one of our cars.  He was just sitting.  I would really love to know what he was thinking.   Another healthy dose of  laughter from our home!

The Rules

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        Over the years we have had quite of few different respite care workers in our home.  Some people we would find in the community on our own,  While others would come from an agency that provided respite caregivers.  It is always an interesting process of explaining our son, Tristan, to each of his caregivers.  We try to remember every detail.  At one point I had a script written out to refer to.  The rules go something like this:  1) keep all doors locked—He is risk of elopement.  Do not lose him! 2) If you need it cooler in our home, turn up the A/C.  Do not open the windows, he will crawl out.  3) Food is an emotional issue.  Please feed him upon request.  Reassure we have food.  4)  He has an artificial eye.  Not to scare you but it can come out.  Let me show you what the old one looks like to familiarize you 5) Tristan is like a two year old who is curious.  Please keep that in mind.  He will test you to see if you can handle him.  6)  Call us if you need ANYTHING.  7) Have Fun!

That pretty much sums it up.  I often leave the house hoping the time goes smoothe. The next post will continue with some of the workers and their experiences.  You won’t want to miss out!

While we were away…

A few nights ago, we went out to dinner with some friends.  They specifically asked to hear about our adoption journey.  So as we were sharing our experiences our little angel was up to no good.  The irony!  When we returned home our friend said it was hard work to keep up with him.  Also her pant legs were visibly wet.  She began to share…

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Tristan decided to step outside into the backyard.  Normally that is OK.  It is a fenced in yard, a nice open space to explore.  This has helped to keep him safe.  There is always a risk of elopement–at any moment he could run away.  Since we recently got a LOT of snow and of course drifts, our backyard had one temptation for him.  Along the back of the yard the snow drifted up to the top of the fence.  Tristan decided to walk right up the hill to the top of the fence. Somehow he never sank into the deep snow…he could walk ON the snow without caving in.  As soon as he reached the drift up to the top of the fence our friend went into action.  She went after him. She began lookijng for her coat and realized Tristan had put on her coat!  It became crystal clear he was going to go OVER the fence!  She quickly ran to him trying to stop him. Over the fence they both went!  Now he began to get cold and wanted her to pick him up. NO WAY!  He is a BIG boy.  He was not going to get up on his own.  Panic set in.  There is NO convincing him.  If he doesn’t want to do something he won’t. She saw some car lights and said, “Tristan your mom and dad are home!”  Tristan got right up and walked to the back door!   Another dose of laughter from our home!